I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize