look no pants
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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