if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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