Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
