Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
