do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
zippers are such a cool invention
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
