Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
