Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
