I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
