You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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