im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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