I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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