You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
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I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
i out mim tonsoeep
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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