i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Randomize
