the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Life is so much better after having sex.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
