the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
