i just wanna soil my oats bro
Just fell off a train. Bad.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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