wakey wakey hands off snakey
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
