Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
