just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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