everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
