lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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