i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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