Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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