During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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