Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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