its not stalking. its research.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
They took my balls.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
