I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
