Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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