I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
In America we eat man semen.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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