This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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