This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
that may or may not have been my penis.
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