There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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