i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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