i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
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