you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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