drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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