you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
