If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Randomize
