Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
