no, he came in my armpit
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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