I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
