So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
