You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
