So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
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Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
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We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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