YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
