saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
