p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
