im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm experimenting with sincerity
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
