Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
