Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
