Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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