Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
