She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
