you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
