I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
