Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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