somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
